Okay, I know that was about 3 weeks from now. But it hit me just right now.

Michael Jackson is dead.

In some sort of odd and very weird way, I neve thought Michael Jackson would .. just die.

I don't know why, but he immortial to me.

When I first heard about it, I laughed. I literally laughed. Because I thought it was just a joke, just a rumor. And so I waited for the TV to announce that the news was all wrong and there was a mistake. And I waited and waited. No matter how much sources started to confirm his death, I still waited for one to deny it.

I waited and waited. And during the waiting, I listened to his songs, especially "You Are Not Alone". I saw his photos online. I watched his video clips on YouTube.

I did NOT believe or even try to think of believing that Michael Jackson died.

And so came the funeral. I watched as they dragged his body inside the golden casket. I watched as his daughter, Paris, made her emitional speech. I watche as Brooke Shields broke down in tears while saying goodbye to her best friend.

I watched all that. But every single fibre in my body beleived Michael Jackson was not dead. Not yet.

Then came the day his concerts were supposed to start. I didn't believe it until then. I don't know why I couldn't believe it, I just refused to believe it.

And I wondered how people, my friends, my family, everbody, was just acting like there was nothing wrong. They remembered him the frist week after he died, then POOF ! - He was forgotten once more.

Anyway, I won't pretend to believe he is dead. Because I don't. All I believe now is that the world will never get to see him in his "This Is It" tour, and that I won't sit in my room itching for the time another one of new albums came out.

But I know one thing, I will never forget him. His memory lives in me forever. I love him, with my heart, I truly do. And I regret not being a fan of him since I knew his name. His music helped me through a lot, and I gratful.

I don't know how he was able to handle it all. What we did to him.

1984-The time he suffered from multiple skin burns because of the failed Pepsi comercial. And the time two of his "Lost Boys" filed against him. How could anyone believe such a pure soul would do anything like that ? He was so innocent, he would hurt any of them.

I qoute from one of his many sayings, when he was once shopping, and the photographer spotted a golden cacsket laying there and asked Michael: "Would you like to be buried in somethine like this?"

Michael replied, "I .. I Don't Know .. I Don't Want To Be Buried, I Want To Live Forever"

He said it with such innocence. Like a child, like Peter Pan would have said it.

How could a person like that live through what he happened to him ?

Oh, and, Michael did not bleach his skin. He had a SKIN DISEASE people.

"Maybe Now Michael, They Will Leave You Alone"



PROUD TO BE A MICHAEL JACKSON FAN !!!!!!!